MEDIA RELEASE
June 5, 2003
For More Information Contact : Kathy Olson, U of M Extension
Service (651-385-3100)
Being A "Father" In
The 21St Century
As we approach Father’s Day, it is a
time to consider what dads in the 21st century are facing with many
decisions about raising their children. The world of parenting today is more
difficult and scary than when most of us were growing up. Today, children are
faced with gangs and violence, sexually-transmitted diseases, and terrorism in
an uncertain world.
The challenge of parents today is to
combine nurturance, love and attention along with setting limits and providing
positive discipline, guidance and structure for their children. Fathers have an
important role with their children. Love and guidance from a dad, while no more
valuable than the same from a mom, is different. A strong, loving, nurturing
male role model teaches sons what it means to be a man, and teaches daughters
what they have a right to expect from boys and men. Fathers often have an
opportunity with other people’s children in the role of a volunteer leader
such as coach, youth leader in 4-H or scouts.
Kathy Olson, University of Minnesota
Extension Educator in Family Relations, offers the following points in mind to
provide a positive influence and healthy development of children:
- Knowledge about child development will help you set
reasonable expectations and limits as you work with daily chores around the
house or work with a youth on a special project or athletic activity.
Communicate clearly what your expectations are of the child you are working
with and provide step by step directions and outcomes. Expectations can
increase as children grow older; however, it is important to explain to the
child why you are increasing your expectations. It is also helpful to explain
to the child WHY jobs are done a certain way or why the job needs to be done at
all. Working along side or with the child is a good way to model behavior and
teach them skills at the same time.
- Communication and positive discipline is important, so
give feedback quickly and often. Verbal affirmations as well as showing
physical affection and genuine praise are important for children to receive
from their parents. Be clear about consequences for misbehavior and make sure
the consequences fit the misbehavior. Make sure there is agreement of
discipline styles and expectations between mother and father, whether living
together in the same household or not, to provide consistency and structure for
the child.
- Model and behave in a way that is consistent with your
family rules. Your children are constantly watching you. Establish clear
positions on issues, and communicate them with your children, especially as
children approach the teen years. Set and share "negotiable" and
"non-negotiable" rules, and what the consequences are if they are not
followed.
- Plan time for having fun with your child and doing
things together as a family. Include flexibility for spontaneous activities,
family games, or time to talk with your child. One on one time with a parent
and each child doing a project together or going on an outing can provide
"special" memories. Time spent together as father and child or as a
family will pass all too quickly. Enjoy the years of family time and your role
as a parent.
For additional information on parenting,
contact your local University of Minnesota Extension Service Office for
resources, or go to the Extension Service web site for a list of resources and
information. The web site address is : www.parenting.umn.edu