Contact: Catherine Dehdashti, U of M Extension, (612) 625-0237; ced@umn.edu
Source: Ellie McCann, U of M Extension, (218)236-2009; mccan023@umn.edu

Siblings: Are they ready to stay home together without you?

ST. PAUL, Minn. (5/21/2008) — Summer is full of opportunities for your kids. There are many activities that your children can be involved in, whatever their age may be. The difficult decisions for parents are in planning the schedule when multiple children are involved because multiple children mean multiple trips to and from activities. 

As children get older, you begin to ask yourself as a parent, when and for how long they can stay at home alone. These periods of being alone may be between or after activities you have planned for them.

There is no specific age when children are ready to stay home alone because children mature at different rates. If you have more then one child, staying at home alone together will depend on the relationship between the children, how far apart in age they are and their maturity.

When your children argue or squabble, are they able to solve their own disagreement without your help? If you have to enter in to help them solve their arguments more often then not, they may not be ready to stay home together without an adult. Remember, you do not want to manage their self care from your work place.

Do you have one child that is older than the rest who may be ready to take on child care responsibility of his or her siblings? The following questions can help you to decide if your older child is ready for this responsibility:

• Can he manage simple jobs like fixing a snack for himself while remembering to fix one for his siblings?
• Can he solve problems himself?
• Is he physically able to unlock and lock the doors at home?
• Does he know when and how to seek outside help?
• Is he prepared to handle an accident or an emergency?
• Will he follow the rules set out for him and enforce rules set for his siblings?
• Will he use his time productively and not get over engrossed in his own activity, forgetting his responsibility to his siblings?

If your child is going to be at home alone, one of the most important factors is that he feels comfortable being alone. According to Lt. Brad Penas of the Moorhead Police Department, “When children are not comfortable at home alone they may call us. We want them to know that they can call us for any concern, but we may spend time investigating their call on something they have exaggerated because they are not comfortable telling us they do not want to be home alone.”

Do you have children that are close in age and may not be able to be responsible to care for a younger sibling, or not want to listen to an older sibling’s direction? If this is the case in your home, it may be later rather than sooner when your children can stay at home unsupervised.

When your children are ready to stay home without you, prepare them to do so. Read “Prepare child siblings to stay home together without you” at University of Minnesota Extension’s Parenting website www.parenting.umn.edu.

Adapted from:
“Help Children Develop Skills for Staying Home Alone”, U of M Extension News and Information, Kathleen Olson; and “When are Children Ready to Stay at Home Alone?”, U of M Extension News and Information, Kathleen Olson

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URL: http:// www3.extension.umn.edu/extensionnews/2008/siblingshometogether.html  This page was updated May 21, 2008 .
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